Things You Oughta Know!

To celebrate my birthday today, you're receiving a Special Edition of "Things You Oughta Know!". I know you're excited, so let's jump right into it:

• Firstly, here's some advice on how to keep yourself alive! (AKA: Don't grab power lines.)

• Secondly, here's an example of why you should never judge a book by its cover! (AKA: Women with a good mouth on them are so hard to find.)

• And lastly, be careful what you ask for in life -- as you just might get it! (AKA: Famous last words.)